Tuesday, October 14, 2014

My Android, My Zombies


Zombies? Facebook is an insatiable Zombi and David has likely become one. I awoke to a Brave New World. Facebook inserted 1,120 "friends"--a swarm--into my Android phone's contact list. Someone opted into the Facebook "sync" app linking a mobile device and Zuckerberg's global social media circus. Having no conscious memory of opting in, I ask: who did this? Was it a butt call? David in a sleepwalking episode? David bitten and possessed by a Zombie? If I were possessed by a ni...neteenth-century doctor, he'd have no social media skills. The only conclusion: a millennial who had met an untimely end possessed me. So, now I've got 1,120 souls crashing my lonely little corner of New Jersey. I want my life back. Nothing personal, Facebook friends.
The Verizon wireless representative, a media saavy baby boomer, sympathized with me; but no one can "unsync" what's been done wholesale. So, this morning I spent two hours individually terminating all of you Zombies. Sorry good people.

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